Finger Recognition Phase

When The Missing Link announced its decision to go online, a majority of our readers, particularly the alpha variety whole-heartedly welcomed the prospect. Most of us eagerly stepped into new territory with relative ease rather than showing restraint. There was no more searching for reading glasses, as letters could grow bigger or smaller against a backlit screen. Now, a clear break from the past, especially for those who recall the pain of “plain old knuckle-struggle”. Ink was a luxury over blunt lead pencils and spelling corrections took away valuable time.  Today, we bid goodbye to dogs’ ears, lines and margins, or cheap security out of a canvas bag. Welcome to the age of touch screen swiping. Is it not a lot better than flipping pages with fingers that are expected to stay moist all the time! 

The compilation below uncovers a frailty that viciously springs a surprise as we go about routine tasks.  As we gracefully advance in years, it is time to reap the benefits from affordable technology that most of us once dreamed of, at least for now:

  • We start out with lots of memory and drive, then we become outdated, and eventually get our parts replaced.
  • I asked my daughter to hang up the phone to get back to work, well she was.
  • Before you marry someone, you should switch to an old cellphone. After marriage, make them use a computer with slow internet to figure who they really are.
  • Life is great. I have more friends I should send this to, but right now, I can’t remember their names.
  • I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

– I don’t have to go to school or work.

– I have a driver’s license and my own car.

– I get an allowance every month.

– I have my own ipad (although I can’t recall where I kept it)

– I don’t have a curfew.

  • Actually I’m not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager).
  • Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
  • The biggest lie I tell myself is…”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
  • I’m so old I remember when fame was a by product of talent.
  • I don’t have grey hair; I have “wisdom highlights” I’m just very wise.
  • Don’t ever ask me to bend down and touch my toes.  If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
  • Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators We haven’t met yet.
  • Of course, I talk to myself; sometimes when I need expert advice.
  • At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
  • I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
  • Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
  • I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
  • I decided to stop calling the bathroom the ‘John’ and renamed it the ‘Jim’. I feel so much better saying “I went to the Jim this morning”.
  • One way to find out if you’re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you’re young, if they panic, you’re old.
  • The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

 Now, I’m wondering…did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?


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